If I had a world of my own everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't.

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Sunday, 4 June 2017

The mind is a shaken up coke bottle...

Never bottle things up!
Your mind is like a shaken up coke bottle. Literally.
If you don't relieve the pressure and let the stress build up in your subconscious, it will eventually seep into your conscious.

Right when you're at a point in life where everything seems to be going well that's when you will explode resulting in total self destruction.

Talk Talk Talk.

Tackling and expressing your feelings because otherwise unresolved issues manifest like a plague and a tiny little problem can open up a portal of unresolved unexpressed anger.

Getting Sectioned...


Just over a year ago I got sectioned. It was a blessing in disguise. For too long I felt like I had no idea who I was, loosing my grip on reality and control of myself.

There is such a stigma attached but if you can go to hospital for a broken leg, a failing liver, a diseased heart then your brain just like any other organ in the body can get ill too.

Admitting it to yourself and other people is the first step in recovery rather then self medication.

Temporarily escaping only pushes those demons aside not get rid of them. Its only a matter of time before the darkness over powers you.


Having a close network of friends and family has been important as they were able to recognise how deep I had fallen off the edge for I couldn't see it myself.

"Strength doesn't come from what you can do. Strength comes from overcoming the things you thought you couldn't"

It can be a real struggle living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that tries to die. There is no shame in admitting you need help. It's good to realise you're not alone as there are other people out there going through the same. Same thoughts, same fears, same difficulties.

Saturday, 27 May 2017

Untangling the knots in your broken psyche




When it comes to mental illness there is always a nature vs nurture debate. Are we born this way or are we a product of our own environment?

Though it's true certain illnesses can be caused due to low level of serotonin in our brains, our upbringing and the environment we've been exposed to plays a major role.

Stress is called the silent killer for a reason. This is why mental illness is a disease of the Western society. Stressors from everyday life are the root cause of causing people to loose their mind. From a young age we have it drilled into our brains that your worth is valued on how much your earn, what you wear, what you own and your social contacts. This forces people into a robotic, monotone, materialistic lifestyle.

You are not even given the chance to ask yourself who you are and what you want out of life because everything you do is to uphold the image society has created. Don't be fooled by the propaganda. Don't clip your wings and take the path that's expected not the path that you  want. Don't be a sheep, wake up from the matrix.

If you've had a messed up childhood you are already at a disadvantage because you have unresolved issues festering at the back of your mind as children do not know how to deal. This creates the human egg shell. Fragile and easy to break. Add everyday adulthood stress on top of unresolved childhood stress and it's only a matter of time before you crack into a million pieces.

People think they can fix you by throwing packs of legal pills at you, but why is a legal high any different from self medicating with alcohol and illegal highs? Just acts as a temporary band aid doesn't solve anything only feeds it.

What you need is insight into yourself to take a trip down memory lane, peeling back the layers and finding the root cause. Unlock what has been locked away for many years so that it no longer rules your present and blocks your future. The more you think you have control over something the more it has control over you.

Untangling the knots is the road to self healing and finding inner peace.

Disentangle my Mind


When I first started this blog it was meant to be a hobby, mainly for beauty, food, fashion and lifestyle. But whilst walking along the pathway to life I tripped and ended up falling down the rabbit hole.
Every time I tried to escape something would drag me back down to the bottom of the hole. The more I tried the harder it became. You loose all energy and motivation and hope. That ray of light that once shone bright gets duller and duller everyday until your world is filled with complete darkness. You are a prisoner trapped inside your own mind.

I did not find psychology, psychology found me. My descent into madness is probably what got me to study the world of Sigmund Freud. I wanted my own insight into the deep dark thinking's of my brain in order to disentangle it.

The mind is a powerful thing you see it has the potential to take a human to the darkest edge of humanity and back. But in order to understand what feeds the darkness we must peel back ever single layer and find the root.

So many people are suffering in silence because there is such a stigma attached when it comes to our mental health. The word 'Mental Illness' still has connotations with isolated asylums built on top of rocks in the middle of the sea, where the criminally insane are locked up in solitude and forced to undergo barbaric therapies like lobotomies.

Only recently mental illnesses were separated into different categories otherwise they all fell under the same category. It's still such a fragile subject.

Instead of seeking medical help people try to self medicate. Alcohol being the drug of choice. People would rather drink their problems away instead of solve them. The more you think you have something under control the more it controls you.

Just like any other organ in the body that can develop an illness why is it so impossible to accept the mind can get ill too. You wouldn't tell someone with a physical illness like a  broken leg to walk it off, so why tell someone with a mental illness to get over it?  

Tuesday, 4 April 2017

About Me :)


Bonjour dolls, Je Suis Lou. I am a 23 year old hybrid (1/2 English, 1/2 Polish) based in London. Keep calm I'm not crazy I'm just a writer. Currently working as a journalist for @Santmagazine dedicated to all things fashion. I am a free spirit, gypsy soul and a wanderer you can find me on Instagram: @thewanderingeagle


I am embracing the creative madness. For 5 years now I've been lost as I pressed the self destruct button on life. But being taken to the darkest side of humanity and back was a blessing in disguise. It gave me insight into myself and just when the flame was about to burn out I reignited it with a spark. Now I am using that energy and channelling it into my work.

Like a phoenix that rises from the ashes of its demise, a human too can be reborn.

May have taken me years, drove me crazy (I was actually sectioned, girl interrupted moment) but lost Alice eventually found her way because I never stopped searching. Loose yourself to find yourself.

I used to feel like I was broken into a million pieces and empty on the inside. No identity. It's been a hell of a journey but all the pieces of broken Lou have slowly mended together and I know exactly who I am and have learned to love who I am.

I am a writer!!!

Once Alice lost in Wonderland now Dorthy following the yellow brick road on her way to reach Emerald City.


Saving the psychobabble for the next upcoming posts.

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